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Monday 27th July, 2009.
Love, Love...LOVE!
The best thing ever when it works with you, you have to agree. Heh, I just love it, like I love him; more than anything else in the world. I can't stop him entering my mind everytime I'm not already talking about him...which is most the time. Hehe. I wish he was here..right now..with me. <3 I wish he'd propose to me, but I can dream, right? I hope so, 'cuz I always dream of him, every night. I wonder if he's ever dreamed about me. Hm..
Well I'm off, going to draw his name is hearts on a new page. :)
Dekota. x
Saturday 25th July, 2009.
Writing this, there's nothing at all to do except hold in pathetic tears. All caused by the second love of my life which is liked by everyone...music. It's somewhat bring me to realization although comforting me to? I really don't know.
Just by simply listening to lyrics makes me realize some of the cruel heartbreak in this world, and it's in a way scaring myself. It's hard enough right now, being without him, I'm not able to continue with my life without him right now in this situation. I really think I'd just die or something if anything was to happen between us, he just doesn't know how much I wanna' be with him. I'm even f*cking dropping tears as this music just gets more emotional and relative with my life.
I'm gonna' just think, hopefully I'll see him tonight sometime.
'I'm in love'
Dekota...<3
Saturday 4th July, 2009.
I'm not sure wether this is another one of those dreams about him again or everything that happened was true and won't just fade away as I awaken. I mean, even when his hand fits perfectly into place with mine I fall more in love with him. And I've already expressed my feelings towards him and vice versa. It's like a fairytale and hopefully it'll have a happy ending.
Stuck In Love x
Wednesday 24th June, 2009.
I Realy don't care, about anyone, anything, life, death, anything. I wouldn't care if I was to drop down dead right NOW. Life is nothing to me anymore, the quicker it's over, the less harm it's causing. This stupid peice of paper is all I have comfort with when expressing my deepest emotions. I'm lost and I can't find any directions to help. There's bearly anyone to help me with everyone around me ...dying. What's wrong with me? Why? So many questions that'll never be answered, I can't even ask anyone.
I feel like a murderer here, well technically I am and I have no intrest in writing about that event in this diary just yet. It's just depressing. Very depressing. Like everything is. I Just want someone to hold me, to talk to, to love. Such a long wait is expected, I probably won't live long enough anyhow...
'Depressed, Destroyed, Self-Dangerous. Dekota.'
Wednesday 27th May 2009
Okaaay So I Wrote A Poem So I'm writing it here, before I forget because well..I'll forget it so yeaa.. --
To be without you is Hell,
It’s Torture Without you,
Not being able to re charge like a worn out battery cell,
I Loose the sanity inside of my when I can’t be with you,
Trying To Think of something to do,
that won’t remind me of you,
you: the one who’s Snatched My Heart,
And I Cant Take It Back,
Making me..want you, need you and love you…
Andd Here's A Copy Of Will's Picture - I Coloured It In :)
So yeaah, That's just there incase I forget anything. ...So uhm how am I?
Well having broken bones and being raped isn't the best thing. Sigh. Erghh, I Gave Will some of my laces - the ones with real diamonds on the end- since I'm not going to realy use them to be honest. I Walked Into A Tree, Fell off my bed (and was stuck on the floor for half an hour), Got my healthy foot stood on and was in pain yesterday. All because of my stupid injuries,ergh. I Wonder wether I'll be okay for the dance, but it's not as if I'm going to actualy dance. I'd just fall over and do something stupid. Oh and by the way here's my dress --
Mine's In Black Though and I requested the layers to not be as uh frilly.
Mhmm well, I Have to do my hair now, so ba-byee.
Dekota -- The Random One.
P.S I'm PALE xP
Wednesday 20th May 2009
Yet Again, I've been writing more poems --
These Emotions
They're Just To Strong,
How Could I Possibly Live On? ,
With All The Sanatity inside of me all just gone..,
All Of Life - It's Just A Con,
What's the point? To Improve This World?
Half The People All Just Fake,
Begging God's Forgiveness for their own sake,
The Point Of My Life...,
None Oh None,
I Just Cant Live,
Cant Go On,
The Strength Of Me 'Dead & ...Gone',
What To Do? Oh It's hard to go on..
I Dont Know Why I Wrote That One, Not To Realase My Inner Emotions for once..
That Is All I Wish To Write, Another Story To Come, Another Day To Fight.
Dekota...
Thurday 14th May 2009
Im Going To DIE. Yeah Die, I'll get tooth decae then just die. Not that I care about death, everything's planned except my will. Maybe I'll give Annabell those toe nail clippings, me & Will were on about, when I die. Hah She Wouldn't be very er happy. I heard Mason's dumped her for being a b*tch. Not All All A Suprise. He can go to heaven, I heard it's hell there. I Wanna go to hell, sounds excitingly dangerous its way better than heaven. Lasharna Got me praying to Satan the other day. heh, everyone think's she weeeirddd; No comment.
Ergh Nearly The Dance & I haven't seen him for days...That could mean anything. If he has even thought about rock climbing without me I swear I will be mad. Mhm wonder if he asks me to ...dance at the dance. I already explained I dont dance but Monique said that he probably will. Damn it, Ima' Gonna Have To Then go and somehow break a bone. Lawl.
I Cant be bothered to write much more. It's depressing me somehow. Sigh.
P.S Trace Cyrus Has A Sexy Voice! hahh
Dekota -- Cute Dork
Monday 27th July, 2009.
Love, Love...LOVE!
The best thing ever when it works with you, you have to agree. Heh, I just love it, like I love him; more than anything else in the world. I can't stop him entering my mind everytime I'm not already talking about him...which is most the time. Hehe. I wish he was here..right now..with me. <3 I wish he'd propose to me, but I can dream, right? I hope so, 'cuz I always dream of him, every night. I wonder if he's ever dreamed about me. Hm..
Well I'm off, going to draw his name is hearts on a new page. :)
Dekota. x
Saturday 25th July, 2009.
Writing this, there's nothing at all to do except hold in pathetic tears. All caused by the second love of my life which is liked by everyone...music. It's somewhat bring me to realization although comforting me to? I really don't know.
Just by simply listening to lyrics makes me realize some of the cruel heartbreak in this world, and it's in a way scaring myself. It's hard enough right now, being without him, I'm not able to continue with my life without him right now in this situation. I really think I'd just die or something if anything was to happen between us, he just doesn't know how much I wanna' be with him. I'm even f*cking dropping tears as this music just gets more emotional and relative with my life.
I'm gonna' just think, hopefully I'll see him tonight sometime.
'I'm in love'
Dekota...<3
Saturday 4th July, 2009.
I'm not sure wether this is another one of those dreams about him again or everything that happened was true and won't just fade away as I awaken. I mean, even when his hand fits perfectly into place with mine I fall more in love with him. And I've already expressed my feelings towards him and vice versa. It's like a fairytale and hopefully it'll have a happy ending.
Stuck In Love x
Wednesday 24th June, 2009.
I Realy don't care, about anyone, anything, life, death, anything. I wouldn't care if I was to drop down dead right NOW. Life is nothing to me anymore, the quicker it's over, the less harm it's causing. This stupid peice of paper is all I have comfort with when expressing my deepest emotions. I'm lost and I can't find any directions to help. There's bearly anyone to help me with everyone around me ...dying. What's wrong with me? Why? So many questions that'll never be answered, I can't even ask anyone.
I feel like a murderer here, well technically I am and I have no intrest in writing about that event in this diary just yet. It's just depressing. Very depressing. Like everything is. I Just want someone to hold me, to talk to, to love. Such a long wait is expected, I probably won't live long enough anyhow...
'Depressed, Destroyed, Self-Dangerous. Dekota.'
Wednesday 27th May 2009
Okaaay So I Wrote A Poem So I'm writing it here, before I forget because well..I'll forget it so yeaa.. --
It’s Torture Without you,
Not being able to re charge like a worn out battery cell,
I Loose the sanity inside of my when I can’t be with you,
Trying To Think of something to do,
that won’t remind me of you,
you: the one who’s Snatched My Heart,
And I Cant Take It Back,
Making me..want you, need you and love you…
Andd Here's A Copy Of Will's Picture - I Coloured It In :)
So yeaah, That's just there incase I forget anything. ...So uhm how am I?
Well having broken bones and being raped isn't the best thing. Sigh. Erghh, I Gave Will some of my laces - the ones with real diamonds on the end- since I'm not going to realy use them to be honest. I Walked Into A Tree, Fell off my bed (and was stuck on the floor for half an hour), Got my healthy foot stood on and was in pain yesterday. All because of my stupid injuries,ergh. I Wonder wether I'll be okay for the dance, but it's not as if I'm going to actualy dance. I'd just fall over and do something stupid. Oh and by the way here's my dress --
Mine's In Black Though and I requested the layers to not be as uh frilly.
Mhmm well, I Have to do my hair now, so ba-byee.
Dekota -- The Random One.
P.S I'm PALE xP
Wednesday 20th May 2009
Yet Again, I've been writing more poems --
These Emotions
They're Just To Strong,
How Could I Possibly Live On? ,
With All The Sanatity inside of me all just gone..,
All Of Life - It's Just A Con,
What's the point? To Improve This World?
Half The People All Just Fake,
Begging God's Forgiveness for their own sake,
The Point Of My Life...,
None Oh None,
I Just Cant Live,
Cant Go On,
The Strength Of Me 'Dead & ...Gone',
What To Do? Oh It's hard to go on..
I Dont Know Why I Wrote That One, Not To Realase My Inner Emotions for once..
That Is All I Wish To Write, Another Story To Come, Another Day To Fight.
Dekota...
Thurday 14th May 2009
Im Going To DIE. Yeah Die, I'll get tooth decae then just die. Not that I care about death, everything's planned except my will. Maybe I'll give Annabell those toe nail clippings, me & Will were on about, when I die. Hah She Wouldn't be very er happy. I heard Mason's dumped her for being a b*tch. Not All All A Suprise. He can go to heaven, I heard it's hell there. I Wanna go to hell, sounds excitingly dangerous its way better than heaven. Lasharna Got me praying to Satan the other day. heh, everyone think's she weeeirddd; No comment.
Ergh Nearly The Dance & I haven't seen him for days...That could mean anything. If he has even thought about rock climbing without me I swear I will be mad. Mhm wonder if he asks me to ...dance at the dance. I already explained I dont dance but Monique said that he probably will. Damn it, Ima' Gonna Have To Then go and somehow break a bone. Lawl.
I Cant be bothered to write much more. It's depressing me somehow. Sigh.
P.S Trace Cyrus Has A Sexy Voice! hahh
Dekota -- Cute Dork
To be added.
